Christmas at Ray 16

Ray 16 Christmas consisted of Princess Diana, mickey mouse baubles, Christmas ham and a lot of vegetables. Christmas lights, candy canes, hilarious children Christmas cards, and Allie knitting for her puppy. I'm now feeling so festive!

-A

Weight woes... or not...

I suppose I find it quite amusing that the first time a person calls me fat to my face in ages, I react by feeling not at all fat.

I have always had problems with my weight, and before if someone had said that I'm sure I wouldn't have eaten for a couple of days and cried a lot.

I mean, sure it stung to hear, but it actually only reaffirmed in me the fact that I am not the same girl I used to be and I actually rather like the way I live.

It's not that I don't think that I am fat - I do - it's more than I am not willing to change my lifestyle so dramatically. Yes I should get more exercise and cut down on the chocolate, but these are things I already knew. I'm actually rather fine with being so frivilous with my food at the moment. If I can afford to, if I am happy in my choices, why should someone make me feel bad for ordering a dessert or eating extravagantly.

I know full well that post university I will be healthier, more concerned as I move into 'proper' adulthood that every calorie will count against my figure. But right now I am young and I am happy and I will have my McFlurry and eat it too!

-A

Partner let me update you

So kittens here's what's been happening:

• On Friday I got the contraceptive implant placed into my left arm to stop me getting pregnant for the next three years. It's something I've been thinking about for a few years now and felt it was time for a (contraceptive) change. It didn't really hurt, I can barely feel it in there unless I touch it, and I'm hoping my body reacts well to it.
• I have quit my job at Jolly's having found it too difficult to keep up with the ever-increasing workload at university whilst having a job.
• Everything is excellent with the boyfriend.
• The nurse told me I'm fat. Thanks a lot for that one, Nurse Viv.
• I was the murderer in a murder mystery!

Love always kittens,

Hope to blog you properly soon! x

I suppose

I suppose it is a little terrifying not knowing what I want to do in life or having any kind of plan.

Content

Hello kittens,

Life has been good lately. I have a new job which I am already enjoying, since working in retail has always been appealing to me. Things with the boyfriend have been going brilliantly. We're very happy and only seem to be growing closer and more in love every minute we spend together. I can't wait to marry that boy. He passed his driving test so we're planning on looking at cars together tomorrow. People are coming back to Bath now so hopefully now more people will be around. So I'm happy, life is good.

Live long and prosper,
Party hard.

-A

Oasis

So I did get a job kittens. Next week I start my job as a Sales Advisor at the Oasis concession in House of Fraser Bath (Jolly's).

I have training this weekend where hopefully they'll till-train me, teaching me the ins and outs and I'll be ready to get out on the shop floor since next Tuesday I start properly. And the week after, on Wednesday I have to do the whole day on my own!

Exciting but kind of scary too. But exciting nonetheless.

-A

Nail art fun

Hey kittens,

It is fun to play with nail polishes.


I felt like a kid again with my multi-coloured nails. Stick to pastels for a summery effect.

For this I originally painted my nails a raspberry colour. After a few days and few chips I updated it by adding a pink and orange to pattern and decorate my nails.

Give it a go!

Job ch-ch-ch-changes

Working at the Salamander has been horrible for a while now for a variety of reasons. But I have two interviews coming up for shops, which I'm very excited about. Fingers crossed that someone hires me and I get to talk about the things I like all day instead of beers. Pretty please?

Childish fun

Having returned home to Northampton I just HAD to see Luke, my nephew, a.k.a. the cutest kid alive.


We had a fabulous time. I gave him a flower which he cuddled, we made devil's food cake, pulled faces and played hide and seek. It was wonderfully childish and fun, and he is so infectiously happy that it's hard to be worried about things.



There is no better way to de-stress in this world, than to spend the day with a 3 year old.

10 of my beauty must-haves

1. Vaseline Lip Therapy - £1.25
   
2. Palmer's Cocoa Butter Lotion - £2.73
   
3. St. Ives Apricot Face Scrub - £4.38
4. Soap & Glory Scrub 'Em and Leave 'Em Body Buff - £7.40
5. Yves Saint Laurent Touche Eclat Radiant Touch Highlighting Pen - £24.50
6. The Body Shop Vitamin E Face Mist - £7.00
7. The Body Shop Japanese Cherry Blossom Eau De Toilette - £15.00
8. Vaseline Healthy Hand and Nail Conditioning Lotion - £2.56
9. Maybelline Falsies Mascara - £8.19
10. Bourjois Little Round Pot Blusher - £7.49
    

If I had to try and explain...

What does depression feel like?

Like there is a hole in my chest. Like a constant ache of loneliness and bitterness. Like you're sat inside on a rainy day whilst everyone is outside playing in the sun. It is emptiness, it is nothingness, it is all-consuming misery.

Home

My suburban four-bedroom house is still as cosy as it ever was. My cats still lounge around lazily, my Dad still splays out on the sofa watching Top Gear and the whole place could use a hoover. But that is what I love about home, it's homeliness. I grew up here, I outgrew here and now I'm back feeling nostalgic here.

Diary of a lonely girl

I've noticed a trend in my life. The less of my music I listen to, the more lonely I feel. Music has always been my method of comfort, assurance and release.

Lately I have felt more alone than I have since I've been in Bath. Maybe I just need to listen to more music, make more playlists.

But it sure would be nice to have someone to talk to. Someone to understand.

-A

The truth

Kittens,

I wish my life was interesting enough to blog about, but right now it's work work work, sleep, boyfriend, work, sleep, house, work.

-A

I'm still alive

Good morning kittens,

I haven't blogged in a while. Mostly this is because nothing interesting has really happened. I've been working and spending a lot of time with the boyfriend. He had a knee operation but is recovering nicely.

When there are things in my life worth me typing about, I'll be in touch.

Oh, I got a 2:1 for my second year - win! Most triumphant!

Be excellent to each other.
-A

Ode to a bellybar

Since I was 13, I have had my belly button pierced. In fact, I've had it pierced twice in my life. It is a relatively small fact about myself and not a particularly interesting story. However, I have discovered how much a part of me it feels.

At work on Saturday night the ball came off the top of my favourite bellybar, the one I have been wearing religiously for at least five years. I adore it. It's silver with a pink pear drop stone. Simple, sweet. I have a habit of running my hand across my stomach to feel for it, mostly I don't realise I'm doing it. During one my routine, subconscious checks I felt that the ball wasn't there anymore after my shift. Panic stricken, I realised I wouldn't find it at work.

I'm thoroughly gutted. I know it's a minor thing to most people, but I've not been wearing it for a day and a half and I just don't feel like myself. I run my hand across my stomach without realising and it feels wrong. It does not feel like my stomach anymore. For the first time in 7 years I'm not wearing it, and it feels horribly wrong. I did not realise it was such a part of me, that I just considered it to be a part of myself.

Over the years I've lost countless balls on the numerous bellybars I had when I was 13, 14 and 15. Hence why I started to do the whole roll my hand over stomach trick in the first place, it's me checking it and routinely I turn it to make sure it's on securely. But now I only have 2 with me in Bath, my favourite which only ever gets taken out every now and then for me to shower and to give it a clean, and a gold one my mum bought me. I don't like gold jewellery as a rule but I don't mind it. So I'm resorting to putting that one in until a) I find another one I like, b) I get some more balls for them so I can wear my pear drop one again.

Who knew I could be so sentimental about a belly bar.
-A

The high road

Sometimes in life you have to swallow your pride, hold your tongue and keep your patience. Even though you might like to kick and scream, to go down fighting, you can't always do this. Sometimes you have to be the grown-up. I'm finding myself in a couple of situations at the moment where I know that I should do the mature thing and let them roll off my back, but it's hard to do.

We have to kill them with kindness kittens. Karma won't take kindly to your vigilante approach to justice.

-A

Adventures in Bath

Thelma and Louise, Romy and Michelle, Joey and Janice; there are many tales of days of adventure out there. Now there is Becca and Alex...


So me and Becca decided to go and be tourist-y in our lovely city and went to visit the Roman Baths, the biggest tourist attraction we have. Because of our nifty Discovery cards we got in for free (students love a bargain!) and we strolled through the Baths listening here and there to the educational facts, and often over-dramatic music. It was fun, although I think Becca's highlight was some nestling pigeons in one of the furnace rooms. Well I understand their point, it's warm in there.



A lovely day was had by all - Becca bought some Parisian earrings and I bought some lingerie! - and we headed back to ours to entertain the lovely Letty that evening. Including making chocolate cornflake cakes!

I continued this theme of adventuring around Bath a couple of days later by paying my first proper visit to Parade Gardens with Ewan. I have been wanting to go in there for a long time now, so even though it was a brief visit I thoroughly enjoyed it. And once again it was free thanks to my Discovery card. What a fantastic investment that was. Here is me and a pig:


-A

Summer project plans

It feels odd not having an essay to write, or an exam to panic about. It seems that when I don't have deadlines looming, now is the time I feel most like I want to sit and do work. How peculiar.

I want to achieve some things this summer, and inspired by Letty's post over at her blog Moonstruck, I've decided to list some of them here.

1. Develop my interior design blog and continue to search for inspiration in that department.
   
2. Research interior design courses for post-university career moves.
3. Draw more and create mood boards and sketch books.
4. Design rooms for my dream house/Northampton house/Bath house for fun.
   
5. Read books for enjoyment, not because I have to. And then not have to write essays about them!
6. Write more music reviews and get back in touch with Jodie from Live Music Scene about writing for them.
7. Create a bank account and save money for my plastic surgery plans.
8. Be deliriously happy with the boyfriend.
   

But my current barrage of illness is leading me to sway towards doing absolutely nothing at the moment. When I'm feeling better I hope to get myself out there on the summer job hunt and get some projects going. Until then I shall remain listening to the rain, eating chocolate and watching 4OD.

-A

Download 2011

I had an AMAZING time at DOWNLOAD Festival this weekend just gone. System of a Down, Avenged Sevenfold, Linkin Park, Skindred, Skunk Anansie, The Pretty Reckless, Bullet for my Valentine, Def Leppard and Bowling for Soup were all awesome and I had a fabulous time.

I got to live to great music, have lols and battle the mud with four great people. One of which I am very in love with. Even more so now.

-A

'Cause I'm Bo yo!

Last night, me and the lovely Hannah Rix had the pleasure of watching Bo Burnham perform live at Komedia. More than that though, we got to meet him! In honour of our awkward conversation and hugs with Bo, I've decided to share of my favourite videos of his with you.

Enjoy kittykats.
-A

Your place is wonderful

I've started an interior design blog to pursue my love of all things interiors.

http://yourplaceiswonderful.blogspot.com

Follow if you so wish but no pressure kittens.

-A

Almost there

Hello again kittens,

Thankfully, I'm almost done with my second year of university. It's been a difficult one if I'm honest, and probably one of the toughest years of my life. Although, lots of good things have happened too.

1. I met Ewan Mckinlay.


2. I got my first job (which lead to 1.)


3. I lived with my girls.


4. I had lots of lols with Rix.


5. I had lots of maternal moments with Becca.


6. I got my first first.


7. I'm going to Download festival.


8. Had some of the best sex of my life.


9. I've had a hair evolution.


10. I started my medication.

So all in all, not too bad. And that's just the major life events. I haven't even begun mentioning the hiding of sock monkeys, playing of monkey island, ring of fire games, jaeger bombs, toasts, Bill Hughes jokes and late night searchings of tumblrisforlulz...

Aww I'm getting all sentimental.

(NOT REALLY OMG THANK GOD THE WORK IS NEARLY OVER WITH!!!!!!)

Love,
-A

A word or two on my future

Ever since I was about 10 years old, I've had certain decisions about my life made up. I was always a very mature, opinionated child, and as such decided very young that I didn't care about getting married. Every other girl in my class seemed to put this in their life plan whilst I remained indifferent saying, and I quote, "I'm not going to be upset if I never get married." Perhaps wise words for someone so young. Maybe this was affected by the separation of my parents, maybe I was cynical from birth, who knows.

A few years later I decided I wouldn't have kids until I was older because I wanted a career first and foremost. Then that became, IF I have kids. And then that became, maybe I don't want kids and later, I don't want kids because I want my own life.

But something has changed lately and I think it has come from meeting the right person. He makes me want to be the bride, to be a wife and a mother, to have a family. If it never works out that way I won't be disappointed, but it's nice to want these things for the first time I can remember.

-A

Silver lining

I can sum up the majority of the last week or so with one word: stressed.

But besides panicking about deadlines, referencing, essays and money, I suppose it's not been all bad.

I found out today that I got my first ever first on an assessment, with a personal best of 72, which I am extremely happy about. Working at the pub hasn't been so bad, in fact I'm actually enjoying it more again now. And I'm full to the brim with ideas I wish I had time for.

And if nothing else, deadlines and exams will be over soon and then I'm off to Download festival.

Not long to go now kittens,
-A

Paignton Zoo

So I had never been to a proper zoo before until Thursday. I went to Paignton Zoo in Devon with my Reading Animals class and it was wholly magical, slightly depressing and fun all in one weirdly good day.


I must admit, seeing my teacher singing and dancing whilst driving is an experience I will not forget for quite a while.


I saw lots of amazing animals and my favourites were the giraffes, the gibbons and the cutest animal of all: the red pandas. They are insanely cute. Essentially, it's like a fox, cat and bear meshed into one and it's adorable.

-A

Happy birthday Rix

It is my beautiful housemate Rixxy's birthday today. She has reached 20 years and we're helping her celebrate with tulips, sock monkeys and gluten-free cake.

-A

Childhood dreaming

So I've been contemplating my future a lot lately kittykats, and it's all a bit strange.

Basically I've been feeling like giving up to be honest. I'm starting to wonder if the mundane life in Northampton that I've been so desperately trying to avoid would be so bad. So what if I don't become a journalist? Maybe working in Nationwide 9-5 everyday is inevitable. I'm not special.

But then yesterday I had a strange epiphany. It is a great secret of my life, that I have kept pretty close to my chest over the years, that ever since I was young I have wanted to be an interior designer. I've spent many an hour designing my dream house, or planning how I would re-do my house in Northampton in great detail. I'm constantly dreaming away about it, and going to B&Q is like entering Neverneverland for me - so much possibility! When I was younger I used to tell my parents that I would own my own interior design company and that that would be when I take up my full name (ha!).

Part of me wonders whether I should consider pursuing this. I mean, I do want to be a music journalist, but so does everyone and I'm not confident that I'm actually talented at it. Plus I'm afraid I'd fall out of love with it if I have to write about things I don't enjoy or if I force it. But I feel like I could be a good interior designer. I don't give myself a lot of credit personality-wise, but I do think I have a good imagination, and hopefully a good eye (besides the contact-lens requirements!). Although, I am studying a degree in English Literature so I worry that I'm considering too great a leap.

Anyway I suppose I'm just aimlessly rambling now. But it's strange how you can ignore or forget about your dreams from when you were younger when you spend so much time focusing on university and what future seems most appropriate...

Keep dreaming kittens,
-A

My boyfriend the photographer

These are two of the photos Ewan took of me at his brother's wedding. I like them more for the fact that he took them of me than how they actually look.

Sofa beds, powercuts and playing mother earth

Well kittens, it's been quite a week.

First, me and Becca discovered that my bed is actually a sofa bed. Now this excited me probably more than it should, but hey I've always wanted a sofa in my room and now I have one! I know it's childish but I considered it a brilliant discovery - I have a double bed and a sofa in my room?! Double classy points for me.

Perhaps the most important news was that of the Ray16 powercut.

Whilst cooking on Saturday, the power in our house suddenly went out. Whilst at first we assumed it was just a quick powercut, we decided to ring Southern Electric and we discovered it was just our house and that it was probably an internal fault. So we ring landlord Jim in the hopes he will rescue us, and we light lots of candles. The waiting-for-Jim process was actually extremely fun. We drank lots of Rose wine and chatted about scandalous things in a truth-or-dare style situation. It was great. Then Jim came and made it sound terrifying and told us he would try and ring an electrician tomorrow.

Although, tomorrow was a bank holiday so we were nervous. My fear of the dark led me to flee to Ewan's house for night, whilst Rix and Becca holed up in Francis' house.

An electrician came the next day and within about 10 minutes he had discerned that the problem was simply the toaster. It wasn't bad wiring like Jim had made out to us, they didn't need to tear up the house. Our electricity was restored in a few minutes and all because of a bad toaster. How silly. Although we did get a brilliant drawing out of it as you can see here. It's an Alex & Rix masterpiece.




Another thing that seems to have occured in my life is that I've become interested in plants. Well, I say interested, but what I mean is that suddenly I've wanted to have plants in the house and grow them. So I bought this Viola plant from Homebase and it sits proudly outside of our house on the doorstep. Despite getting crushed by some mean person, it's bounced back wonderfully and it's flowers are so pretty. I also bought a bright pink Gerbera to have in my room in a cream pot. Again, it's very pretty and definitely brightens up the room. I just have to make sure I remember to water them properly!

Besides that kittens, it's just been the usual fare: pulling pints, visiting the doctor, being loved up with the boyfriend and spending more money than I have. Wonderful.

Love always,
-A

A word or two on love

Sometimes you meet someone who just makes life better. Someone who will change your life, change you and change the way you see the world. It's called love my kittens, so I'm trying not to let it go. Because if I'm honest, it feels wonderful.

Royal wedding

I did love watching the royal wedding on television today. It was so romantic, and Kate Middleton looked so beautiful. Dream come true wedding or what?

Trains, pampering and arachnophobia

I arrived back in Bath today all excited to see the boyfriend and get back to the house of Ray 16, and after a long journey I looked forward to a day of fun.

My train journey home was wonderfully complicated. I got the train from Northampton to Birmingham International, from Birmingham International to Birmingham New Street, then from Birmingham New Street to Cheltenham Spa, then I had to get a rail replacement bus from Cheltenham Spa to Gloucester, where I got on a train to Bristol Temple Meads, and then got a train from there to Oldfield Park. What a cofuffle I tell you! But alas, I was only getting steadily more excited to be home throughout the whole journey and each individual part wasn't too long.

So I got home, got changed and headed into town to meet the boyfriend. After some big hugs and kisses we headed to Molloy's for our usual burger & chips combo. Then, because we're hilarious like that, we went into Ann Summers (I'm NOT telling what was bought...) and then took a stroll around La Senza. What can I say, we've missed each other and looking at lingerie was fun knowing we hadn't seen each other for a while. Then I bought him a t-shirt from Freespirit, and me some shorts, some heels (which I'll probably return) and a headband thing from New Look.

When I got home I decided to have some pampering time. I had a relaxing bath, washed my hair, moisturised my skin and I'm currently sat in my prettiest summer dress feeling mighty relaxed and with very soft skin. Yay new products! Just about to paint my toenails.

The only hiccup of today was walking into my room post-bath and seeing a MASSIVE spider crawl out of my under my bed. I literally screamed and ran to the door, but upon the realisation that I was the only one in the house, I decided I had to take matters into my own hands. So I grabbed Clarissa and from my bed I dropped it on the spider. Now I know some people dislike killing insects, but I COULD NOT have picked it up and I'm too afraid to leave it so it had to be done. I swiftly grabbed loads of toilet roll and grabbed it so I didn't have to bear looking at it. There is a positive side though, I can no longer say that Clarissa wasn't worth £25.

-A

Perspective

I forget how lovely Northampton can be. I like how homely it feels, how comfortable. It looks so different to Bath that I appreciate it a whole lot more now.

Mike & Fliss' Wedding

So another day that I have been meaning to blog about but hadn't yet got round to was Ewan's brother Mike's wedding which was on April 8th. Having only met Mike and Fliss once, I was a bit nervous about attending their wedding but seeing all the boys in their kilts, chatting with his family and dancing the night away was brilliant.


The venue was stunning and the weather was perfect for it. Although I think Mike's head got sunburnt - ouch. His family were so lovely and made me feel very welcome, so I didn't feel too out of place or at all lonely at any point.



Me and Ewan had some lovely slow dances, and funny fast ones, and had lots of sweet and romantic moments that I think I might remember forever.


It was definitely a beautiful, perfect day and I'm so glad I got to be there.

-A

Download 2011

I am extremely excited to announce, my beautiful kittykats, that last night I bought my tickets to Download festival 2011.

This year's line up is the best I think I have ever seen it. It is seriously amazing. I had originally planned to go with the boyfriend but upon discovering that my last (3 hour!) exam was at 2pm on the first day of the festival, the idea was shelved and I was gutted. I almost cried. I think I probably did cry. I have never been to a festival and it seemed so unfair.

However, I have made the decision to go anyway. Me and Ewan were talking about it and whilst he will go up on the Wednesday for the 5 day camping experience, I will attend my exam and then head straight for the train station to get there. Hopefully I can be there for about 8 or 9pm on the Friday night. Yay! That's dedication. And then we popped onto Argos.com to find a cheap 2-man tent for us both - £14.99? Bargain! And then I convinced my Dad to pay for it as an early 21st present. Brilliant!

Check out the incredible line-up here: http://www.downloadfestival.co.uk/2011/lineup/

Eeeeeeee! I'm soooooo bloody excited!
-A

Live Music Scene

So Becca forwarded me an email about writing for the website Live Music Scene. They were asking for students who were interested in music journalism to write a 100 word album review, particularly students who will be in Bath over the summer. Since it is a part of my plan to try and get my writing out there and to take opportunities to further my experiences - and because I will be here over the summer - I decided to submit a short review of the Foo Fighters' new album.

Jodie, who runs the website, got back to me straight away and told me a bit about the site and what she was hoping to do. Interestingly enough she also did a music blog for her third year creative enterprise project so I felt a bit inspired.

Since then I have written a review of a Bristol-based band called Red Dust Road for Jodie and she gave me some very positive feedback which was lovely. Hopefully I can write more for them when I have time and continue to have that experience of being given an assignment.

Check out the Live Music Scene website here and read my review here!
-A

Esoteric Illusions

Hello kittens, excuse my lateness with this post, but I have been having a very strange time lately and for some reason didn't get round to writing about this until now.

On Tuesday 5th April I, along with Becca, Rix, Letty and Lily, headed to Walcot Chapel to see our lovely housemate Allie's private view exhibition called 'Esoteric Illusions'. Although we weren't there for hours, I think we all enjoyed feeling cultured and looking at all the cool pieces the art students had produced.

Allie made this fabulous Alice in Wonderland inspired dress, which has gorgeous embroidered detailing along the bottom of scenes from the book and a belt made from printed text! We have pinched the hanging playing cards for our living room and it now looks a bit like a poker den. In a brilliant way, of course!

Having seen the amount of time and effort she put into it, it was nice to see it displayed and appreciated at the event.

Along with Allie's work, ten other artists exhibited their work.

Whilst they were all great in their own way, a few stood out to me personally. I don't claim to be an art critic, so my opinion is purely my own. I loved Alice Woolliscroft's embroidered transparent rain coat, Amy Jones' hand-cut book, Camila Sadler's mixed media shrine, and Olivis Mason's textile pieces.

by Alice Woolliscroft

by Amy Jones

by Camila Sadler


Much love always kittens.
-A

Open return

Hello my kittens,

I write to you today from the comfort of my bedroom in my home town of Northampton. I came home for my mum's 50th birthday meal but I have decided to stay an extra night because the trains are useless on Sundays here at the moment.

Originally Ewan was going to come with me and meet my family but I decided against it because I want them to meet him properly rather than dragging him along to a family meal.

Highlights of the trip so far include:

• Luke showing me his new room and telling me the very inventive names of his cuddly toys ('Cat', 'Doggy', 'Big Dumbo', 'Small Dumbo' etc.)
• EVERYONE telling me I look like I've lost a lot of weight and assuming I'm on a strict diet. Eating McDonalds all the time is obviously brilliant for the waistline!
• Having to leave the meal early because I was about to throw up. Happy birthday mum!
• Spending today doing NOTHING and having Chinese food for dinner tonight.

Oh Northampton, I do love you.

-A

I am creative and enterprising

Today I have been feeling a little more inspired with my course. As my daily horoscope confirms, I have been stuck in a rut lately with motivation.

English Literature students had our module choice meeting today where all the lecturers tried to convince us to take their modules next year. Luckily there are loads of good ones and I am spoilt for choice. I want to do modules on Shakespeare, Ian McEwan, women's writing from 1960-2000 and 20th century European literature.

I also found out that I don't have to do an 8,000 word dissertation in my third year! I can instead do a creative enterprise project. I'm hoping to write a music blog of articles, reviews, books, music theory and history.

I spoke to two lecturers, one for English Literature and one for Creative Writing, and both made me feel more reassured about my chosen career paths and seemed interested in my ideas.

This is brilliant news giving that this last week has been HORRIBLE. One of the worst ever. Thank god it seems to be turning itself around again now.

Love always my kitty kats,
-A

Honestly?

I have never been so happy to know someone. I think I really love him.

Exp-hair-iments

Good evening my kittens,

Apart from university work, pulling pints and feeling dizzy from the stirrings of young love, I have been having a whale of time experimenting with my hair.

A few weeks ago I had very, very long blonde hair. Unfortunately it was very, very damaged and as I had had it like that for a while, I was bored of it.



So I decided to make that brave jump of having it chopped off to sit above my shoulders. I also had it dyed dark, dark brown. Unfortunately, I hated it at first. Fortunately, I grew to like it soon enough. I loved the colour, it was just the shock of having all my hair cut off that got me.



The problem was that the hairdresser only used a semi-permanent brown hair dye on my hair and my hair colour always fades fast. So as it was slowly lightening I decided to dye it plum purple on a whim. Now I like it and all, but after a day of having it purple, I've realized I wish I could switch it on and off. Having it purple sometimes, brown others. It was fun though, and hey you're only young once.



Because I am attending the boyfriend's brother's wedding on April 8th, I have decided to try and get it back to brown for then. I only used a semi-permanent dye with the plum colour, and I'll be using baby shampoo, Head & Shoulders and any other colour-stripping techniques to strip away any colour in my hair up to then. And probably after.

So that's where I am right now. Join me next time for more hair-damaging whimsy and mundane blogs.

Love always,
-A

PS - Bought a fabulous dress from Topshop for the wedding - win!

My 10 rules to life

1. You are not the centre of the universe.
2. There are more important problems in the world than what to wear, or whether you should or shouldn't eat those chips.
3. Life is as simple as you make it.
4. Nobody can bring you down if you don't let them.
5. Laughter really is the best medicine.
6. Don't worry about things that you have already done - you do not have a time machine, you just have to accept things how they are.
7. Don't worry about things you cannot control.
8. Smile at strangers, talk to everyone, be approachable.
9. It is always better to try than not try.
10. All you can do in life is your best.

I create my own morality and religion for myself. People seem to think that because I don't believe in organized religion, that I do not believe in anything. I have a strong set of morals and beliefs, it's just things I have learnt for myself instead of being taught.

Ta ta for now kittens,
-A

Epiphany #4

There comes a time when you have to shut the laptop and accept that things are the way they are, and only you can change them.

Groundhog life

Do you ever wish sometimes that you could fall asleep and wake up in the past so that you could do something over again, the right way? That is how I feel today.

State of Fluox

To me, there is no truer philosophy than taking everything one day at a time.

I have had mixed results with my medication since I started taking it, but it did eventually settle down and seem to be making a real difference.

The problem began when I ran out. I took the last one-a-day tablet on Tuesday and didn't manage to get any kind of appointment until Friday. I swiftly resumed taking them one-a-day as directed once I picked up the prescription the same day, but I have felt a definite change these last few days.

My moods have been all over the place, I have been incredibly emotional and feelings of apathy have returned with gusto.

This is not good. In truth, it scares me. I have come so far in this short space of time, I have figured out so much and come to a healthier, happier place in life. And whilst I know I can get back there (thinking rationally), my irrational, mental self tells me that it is jeopardized. That I am back in some kind of limbo.

And truth be told kittens, I'm not sure who to talk to about it...
-A

Puncakes?

Now anyone who knows me will know that I am not a religious person. I could sit for hours and rant about how destructive most organized religions are, but that is not the point of this blog post.

My friends here at university often partake in the Christian tradition of giving up something for the period of lent. This is not a tradition I have ever decided to join in with since, if I'm not religious, why would I deprive myself of something I like? I believe Jimmy Carr tweeted it best today when he said:

"The best thing about being an atheist is Shrove Tuesday becomes Pancake Day (and you can have Pancakes again tomorrow)"

However, this year I have felt strangely compelled to take part in the whole lent thing. I am still not sure why.

Many of my friends are giving up facebook which is admirable, but I like facebook and I'm not sure it will really help me with anything. I think having facebook on my phone has actually helped me go on it less, since I know I will get an email if I have any notifications and it only takes two seconds to check. Now I don't need to spend my time refreshing and logging in and checking everyone's profiles. Since it does it for me I actually use it much less, and I'm less compelled to keep checking back. Besides, I thoroughly enjoy my internet addiction and don't intend to stop it.

So what would be a good thing for me to give up? Really I should give up junk food. I have eaten way too much of it lately unnecessarily and not only is it unhealthy, it's draining my bank balance fast. Now I know myself pretty well, having had 20 years experience dealing with myself and all, and I know that I tend to not have a lot of willpower when it comes to food. My plan is to avoid having money on me, or to avoid situations where I might be likely to indulge. It won't be easy but hey ho, life goes on. And I could definitely do with shedding some pounds!

Since it is pancake day, I have to give a special mention to Ewan for coming over with all the trimmings (that I demanded, ha!) and cooking me some delicious pancakes. It was lovely to just spend the evening with him and we had a wonderful night.

In other news, it is hair appointment time tomorrow and I am very excited! Also, I need to get myself organized since I've got a lot of stuff to do now and coming up soon - eek!

Until next time kittens,
-A

Free books

Yesterday I got given a book as part of World Book Night 2011, which was actually on the 5th of March. Essentially World Book Night was about giving away much-loved books for free around the UK in an attempt to get people talk about the books they love and recommending others to read.

Mr. B's Emporium of Reading, a bookshop in Bath, had 50 copies of Mohsin Hamid's novel The Reluctant Fundamentalist to give away, and decided to share those books up with other local businesses. Now this happened to include my place of work, The Salamander, which is literally across the road for Mr. B's. I believe we had 10 copies to give away but somehow my manager Rachel still had one left over, so she gave it to me since I'm a literature student.

Whilst I know the gesture was more blasé than that, since they simply had it left over and I just happened to be working yesterday, but I loved it. Not only do I get something free, but I get something which comes recommended by a team of literary experts.

I started reading it tonight at knitting, and whilst I didn't get very far into it due to chatting and eating chocolate buttons, I have enjoyed what I've read so far. Definitely going to read it to the end, and hey, maybe even review it!

-A

My not-much-reading week

In true me fashion, I have not done a lot of reading this week. But that doesn't mean I haven't done anything, so let me fill you in kittens.

I think I have reached a nice point in my job at the Salamander where I feel pretty comfortable with what I'm doing. I know longer feel like the new kid, instead I feel like I'm one of them. I've bonded with Keiran, impressed James and even helped the new guy out on his first shift. Having a job has definitely bought out a lot of confidence in me. When you have to talk to strangers all the time, learn things on the spot and figure out solutions when something goes wrong, you can't always be a wallflower. Plus it has been lovely meeting all kinds of people, and working with some absolute dudes. And let's not forget, I did find myself a love interest there. And having some kind of monetary income is unbelievably helpful right now.

Speaking of the boyfriend, I am very happy in that department. As he likes to say, we work well together. Whilst I wasn't convinced getting myself into a relationship was the best thing for me, I have yet to regret a second of it. I am just having best time and I am not going to apologize for it, or feel bad. And you can't beat a guy who's willing to take me to TGI's because of how I go on about their individually cheesed nachos, or set up a joint blockbuster account with me, or call me beautiful even when I've just woken up and I look like death warmed up. It feels lovely.

I was supposed to be heading home to Northampton (North-tramp-ton?) for a couple of days but that kind of fell through. I realized I would be paying £40 to head home for one night, to spend another £20 on a dinner, to not see my dad or mum, and then get the train back again. It didn't seem worth it to me. Not when I have uni work and lots of organizing to do here anyway. I could tell that my family were gutted from their text responses to my decision to stay here - "Ok" being the longest one. Oh, my crazy family. I love them really. Things seem to be turning round for my mum as well which is nice. She's gotten herself a fancy new job, her dogs are all healthy again and she sounds much less depressed. And she even offered to pay for my hair - win!

Now I'm planning to blog extensively about my hair next week, but I am planning an Alex Page overhaul. Basically I'm in need of change and it's time for an overhaul.
I've booked myself a hair appointment for Wednesday, and I'm going to see about getting a tattoo done in the next few weeks hopefully (depending on money). I've been deleting a lot of crap from my computer today, and it's very metaphorical for the crap I am cutting out of my life. I'm shutting a lot of doors in the hopes of opening some new ones. Sometimes, your life just needs a spring clean.

Aside from the boring stuff - I've written an essay, I have more university work to do, I should do more writing and considering trying to get published, etc. - there isn't a lot left to tell you. Except that I hope by this time, Steph has stopped throwing up as she was very drunk last night.

Meow for now,
-A

I'm pretty sure my life isn't interesting enough for me to blog about it.

The boyfriend

Hello kittens,

It seems life has taken a turn for the better, in the form of a nice young man named Ewan. He is the boy I mentioned a few posts back, the one I went on dates with but wasn't a boyfriend. Well, now he's the boyfriend and I am very happy.

It's nice to have someone hold me close to them, kiss my forehead, tell me I have beautiful eyes. I love talking about music, or laughing about sloths or eating burgers with him. Lovely, ordinary, wonderfully everyday things. And we always have the best time together.

I am trying to put aside my horribly jealous, paranoid, insecure tendencies because I do not want to lose this one. So I'm letting myself be happy and hoping I make him smile even half as much as he does me.

I think he's a keeper.

-A

Cherry bomb

I'm not sure how to explain the last couple of weeks, so I figured I'd put it in its most simple form. Words.

Blackberry, boyfriend, burgers, bus pass, Clarissa presentation, Discord, drinks, essays, fajitas, flowers, glitter, gossip, hangover, heavy metal, I.D., iris, Jaeger bombs, junk food, Lexie, money, Motley Crue, music, parodies, photos, Poo-Na-Nas, sex, shots, teacakes, Valentine’s, work.

Love always kittens.

A new page?

An odd thing has happened. For the first time, in a long time, I am happy. I am not sure if it is a medicated happiness, a turning point in my own confidence or just a fortunate turn of events, but either way I am not going to resist this time. I often find myself sabotaging my own happiness, but I am trying to simply enjoy it this time.



My life is now about great friends, great times and great music. And that is very much ok with me.

Doctors, dates, and my Dad the dude

Good afternoon my kittens,

I haven’t blogged in a few weeks now, but honestly I haven’t been sure what to say.

I guess the most important change in my life is that after years of hiding from it, self-diagnosing and being terrified, I finally went to speak to a doctor. I am not sure I have ever been more nervous, or given a bigger sigh of relief. I have to give a huge amount of love to Dad for how great he has been to me over Christmas. I definitely think we’re even closer now and I am incredibly lucky to have such an awesome Dad.

In regards to gossip, I have some for you. I suppose there is a boy in my life at the moment. Now he’s not a boyfriend – by my own choice – but he is definitely lovely. I’m very happy, and lucky, that someone is willing to put up with my company, and hopefully I won’t mess it all up somehow.

Now, if you read my last couple of blog posts, you’ll know that part of my New Year’s resolution is be more positive about myself. I think I am actually doing okay with this one. I am definitely more confident (for whatever reason) and I am definitely more comfortable with the way I look. I am still incredibly insecure, I still think I am terrifically ugly. I just think that a lot less than I used to. If that makes sense. Well it does to me.

Work is good, university is tough but good, and my money situation isn’t so bad anymore. Although I do need a new phone because mine is slowly but surely dying.

I’ll be more specific/salacious/scintillating/silly/sarcastic next time kittens, but for now I have lots of reading to do.

Love always,
-A

Music blog

I have a music blog that I post on occasionally on Tumblr.

Mostly it's for posting anything that I write in regards to music reviews or recommendations. I'm hoping to keep this up this year and to get more of a variety of music on there. So far it seems to be mostly rock but that it's because I've been writing less and for some reason I find it easier to turn to rock music for a boost of music enthusiasm.

Anyways, it's called The Never Ending Playlist and you can find it HERE if you want to check it out.

-A

A fresh start...

This year, my resolution is simply to be better. To be a nicer, more understanding, less selfish, more focused, more in control and happier person. Obviously it is not an easy resolution to always keep, but the beauty of it is that if I mess up, tomorrow is always a new day to start again with it. It’s not like giving up smoking where if you have one cigarette then you’ve ruined the whole point of a New Year’s resolution. There is a lot I want to change and I hope that I can accomplish at least some of these things.

The very first thing I want to change: my attitude towards myself. It is so unhealthy to always hate yourself. I hate everything from my appearance to my personality at the moment, and I want that to stop. I don’t want to feel sick at the sight of myself, I want to feel wonderful no matter I look like. I know it’s a psychological change, not a physical one, that needs to happen with me and I’m going to try and crack down on my negative thinking.

It has also become blatantly obvious to me that staying away from boys seems to be the best move I could make for my romantic life. I am not ready to trust someone completely and I do not feel good enough about myself to feel secure in a relationship right now. Things will need to change before I could take that step with someone. Not that I am exactly inundated with offers these days… but I know what I mean.

I hope to write more and definitely update my music blog more often. I’m hoping I’ll be able to go to some shows, locally and maybe otherwise, to watch bands and write reviews about them. The lovely Letty told me that that is probably my best bet for getting into this whole music journalism thing and I am inclined to believe her. Also, I just love going to shows. Jen and Johnny (aka Wacky Jen and Patrick Swayze) both said they’d love to go to watch some local band shows at Moles every now and then, so hopefully I won’t have to go alone! Perhaps I could even attempt to send some to magazines/newspapers… but let’s not get ahead of ourselves yet.

I also need to start being smarter with my money. I know if I work for it, I can have enough money for rent, bills and food each month, as well a little thing for myself if I budget. It’s a matter of limitation but I am definitely already better at that. I’m much more respectful about money, or a lack of money, these days.

There are smaller things I would like to happen: getting my first tattoo, starting up driving lessons again, deleting Facebook perhaps, drawing more, taking a lot of lovely photographs and putting them up onto Flickr as a little portfolio thing, visit the clubs in Bath that I haven’t done yet... You know, smaller, less important things. They are still goals that I have for myself this year, but they’re not as major as the other changes.

Anyway, the point is that I want to make this year a million miles better than last year. I’m closing the door on 2010, and letting it stay firmly shut.

Happy New Year kittens, I hope you have a fabulous 2011 full of fun and frolicking and food and fierceness and far too many laughs to be healthy.

-A