Childhood dreaming

So I've been contemplating my future a lot lately kittykats, and it's all a bit strange.

Basically I've been feeling like giving up to be honest. I'm starting to wonder if the mundane life in Northampton that I've been so desperately trying to avoid would be so bad. So what if I don't become a journalist? Maybe working in Nationwide 9-5 everyday is inevitable. I'm not special.

But then yesterday I had a strange epiphany. It is a great secret of my life, that I have kept pretty close to my chest over the years, that ever since I was young I have wanted to be an interior designer. I've spent many an hour designing my dream house, or planning how I would re-do my house in Northampton in great detail. I'm constantly dreaming away about it, and going to B&Q is like entering Neverneverland for me - so much possibility! When I was younger I used to tell my parents that I would own my own interior design company and that that would be when I take up my full name (ha!).

Part of me wonders whether I should consider pursuing this. I mean, I do want to be a music journalist, but so does everyone and I'm not confident that I'm actually talented at it. Plus I'm afraid I'd fall out of love with it if I have to write about things I don't enjoy or if I force it. But I feel like I could be a good interior designer. I don't give myself a lot of credit personality-wise, but I do think I have a good imagination, and hopefully a good eye (besides the contact-lens requirements!). Although, I am studying a degree in English Literature so I worry that I'm considering too great a leap.

Anyway I suppose I'm just aimlessly rambling now. But it's strange how you can ignore or forget about your dreams from when you were younger when you spend so much time focusing on university and what future seems most appropriate...

Keep dreaming kittens,
-A